February 7, 2010

• I can't begin to tell you how good it feels to once more have a functioning computer at home.  Or how indulgent it feels to have Premium again. These are very happy making things in my life. No more furtive peeks at work, feeling as if I'm stealing from my employer, even though my supervisor told me it was ok to use the internet for the occasional personal use.

  My trip to Oregon to visit with the kids was wonderful.  I have a new daughter in Becca and am thrilled that she and Dylan are happy. Mason was there, too..  It was wonderfully good to have the gift of time with them. It was so very hard to come home and leave them there. I also realized that I'm not having much fun in my life when I'm away from them. I have pledged to myself that I will celebrate more joy in my life and pursue it actively. One of the areas that brings me joy is posting to this blog and reading the blogs of friends made here over the years. Another area where I've let joy slip away is in the listening of music at home. When I return home from work, I am so hungry for peace and quiet that I have stopped playing CD's.  So I've loaded the CD player with Loreena Mckennit and have her playing in the background. She wants nothing of me save to listen and appreciate. I can do that.  I've also bought a new box of oil pastels and plan to rub them into my finger tips to draw with my hands. I like the soft, smudged look of the work made directly with my hands. It soothes me.

  My fifty first birthday was celebrated joyfully. I treated myself to coffee in bed with cards from Erik and a few friends. It was a delightful way to start the day.  There was trifle at the office and nothing too taxing about the day. On the way to dinner, my beloved Snaab made a horrid grinding nose of metal on metal. She didn't want to move further. Fortunately, I had heeded the voice in my head that said, " Bring the cell phone." A tow was arranged. A nice State Trooper came by to check on us and left two big birthday candles behind the Snaab, merrily flaring out behind the car. Then the Sheriff's deputy on duty stopped by to make sure we were warm. Finally, Ceredwyn came by to take us home. Erik had made a chocolate cake for my birthday- probably the biggest surprise of the day!.  

  Saturday, I went to see my friend, Gert.  She is now a widow of one week. Her husband, Herbert, passed away ten days ago. They were wed when she was eighteen and had been married sixty six years. We took Herb's van to Burlington and I went shopping with Gert. She really took her time and seemed to enjoy herself. She was appalled that she had forgotten about my birthday the day before. Such a contrast to my own mother, who hasn't renewed her phone since July. I have sent her cards, but no response has been forthcoming. She refuses to pay her phone bill.  She says she didn't choose Fairpoint, the company that bought out Verizon, so she's not paying for it. Nor does she seem interested in getting a replacement. She just goes to the neighbors' houses and borrows their phones. All this is via my sister who says we would be enabling mom if we bought her a cell phone or paid the bill. I've let it go. Still, I was touched by Gert's distress that she had forgotten the date. She has in the past done a better job of remembering my birthday than my mom has.

  I'm off to surf the web and read blogs. Blessings abound.

  • 1:29 pm
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