February 16, 2010

• Sometimes work leaves me wanting at the end of the day. Sometimes I understand why people go postal in their work environment. Sometimes I don't understand how any one could take their own life. Today I held the middle-aged mother of a suicide victim as she cried out her anguish on the one year anniversary of the death. I tried to calm her, tried to slow her breathing to a more sustaining pace. In the end the only actions that seemed to help were those of holding and letting time have its way with the emotions. Or were the emotions having their way with time/ Either way, it felt like a long time of standing and holding. Encouraging and supporting. And wishing at the same time that I wasn't the one doing that job. I felt her despair in my chest. Felt the darkness from her heart. I know this sounds dramatic. I wish I could take the heavy feeling off my chest. Eventually, calmed she went home with her husband.

  By then the snow had started to fall and I really desperately wanted to go home. But there were more messages to answer, problems to solve, appointments to schedule. I did what I had to do and then came home. Home to a loving dog and a faithful husband. Dinner was relaxing. The dog reassuring. The house quiet. Now it's time for bed.

  Blessings abound

  • 8:46 pm
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