October 30, 2010

  • Overall Goodness

    Right in this moment, I love my life. Right in this moment everything works for me. A pinnacle that even as I write about it, I cannot stretch further than it is. 

    Today is six marks without the concentrated sugar. It is becoming clearer to me that I am clearer without it. Clarity comes with times of discomfort as the emotions and intense feelings make me squirm. I'm starting to see that if I make it through those discomfiting times, the times of comfort and joy are clearer, longer and more frequent. I have lost twenty two pounds this year. This is no small accomplishment for a woman who has had steadily gained weight every year for the prior twenty.  About ten pounds a year has been my average gain. If I stay the course, this year reverses that trend. 

    I have a better understanding of " Little by little, one goes far." The years pass whether I take action on my health or not. Little steps across the coals propelled me to this place where I am doing what I no longer believed to be possible. This is a very cool thing. It's really okay to focus on myself here and work the kinks out that have kept me as stuck as a stuck record with no one to jostle the needle back into the groove of my own record.  Little by little, I am reclaiming that part of me that was lost to sugar, lost to binging. I'm even playing with my art a little more. This is a very good thing. 

    My hands have healed enough from my tendonitis that I am once more able to pick up yarn and needles and knit. I'm working on a denim blue pullover for myself. It is soothing to sit in front of the fire and knit. No sound in the house but the fire and the low hum of electricity. LoraBoraLabradora sits by my side, content in our togetherness. 

    Right in this moment I realize how truly blessed I am.

    Blessings abound.