March 19, 2011

•    Yesterday I saw the Spine Doc. Overall, a very good report. Yes, there is Spinal Stenosis at the level of lumbar vertebrae three and four. But he doesn't feel it warrants surgery at this time. We didn't really address the weakness in my left leg other than to say that I continue with Physical Therapy and go back to the pool at Vermont Sun. I had dropped that membership because I wasn't using it so much once I was feeling better. I think there were some financial constraints around it's use, also.   At any rate, I need to contact VT Sun about reactivating the membership and the costs associated with it. 

    It's good that surgery is not needed. What this emphasizes for me is that I am the one who needs to help me the most. As a rule, I wish that my providers have a magic wand to wave so that I will be instantly better. And by instantly better, I mean no attention to diet, exercise or energy work by me.  Diet has been better up until the last week or so. Craving sugar and eating because of the pain I'm experiencing. It's always been part of the illness scenario for me.  And having some tasty goody show up to smooth over the pain was always part of it, mostly from my dad: peppermint ice cream after knee surgery, soft scrambled eggs with steak and peppers for a really lousy sore throat. I eat to recapture that feeling of being loved when ill health has made me feel low.   I've been watching this behavior over the last few weeks and see that it's a way of comforting me. Not always the most helpful, but something that did work once in the past that does not work so well for me now.  

  PT has brought to my attention another area where I can improve my self care. I am a second degree Reiki practitioner. Perhaps I use the word practitioner loosely, as I haven't used it much over the past couple of years. I offer it out to friends here and there. One thing that I haven't done in all this time, that I should have been doing, is self Reiki. I have neglected my self-treatment. When at PT Thursday, Judy and I were working with this stubborn pain in my left buttock, right where the sitz bone is. Judy brought up the possibility of it being an energy cyst. She then facilitated some myofascial releases in that area.  The question came up from me, " Is this because I haven't been giving myself Reiki?" The immediate answer from Judy was "yes".  The work made me cranky (what doesn't seem to make me cranky these days?) so I came home and napped. I felt somewhat better after the nap so I researched "Energy Cyst".  An energy cyst, according to Upledger is a pocket of energy from an old injury.  It is disorganized energy that penetrates as deeply into the body as it can and then stays in an area.  My understanding is very basic but it made sense to me. Especially with the number of times I have fallen in the last year. I even think I know which fall it was.  My body's memory is pretty reliable with those sorts of things.  So Thursday night I tucked myself in and gave myself Reiki. I drifted off to sleep, feeling really well and peaceful. The next day, no pain. None whatsoever. It was marvelous. It was Friday the sun was shining and I felt so much better. Last night I repeated the Reiki and did not feel peaceful at all. Perhaps part of that can be accounted for by the approaching full moon outside my window. I was very aware of the things that were dragging my energy down: stool in my colon, the chocolate cake in my stomach sluggishly sitting there, not digesting. My itchy mind.  The energy was ineffective in penetrating my core because of blocks I had put in my way: crappy food leading to crappy digestion. I was full of shit and it was preventing me from being better. I'm pretty sure that more Reiki is in order to help me move past this and to move through this. The blockage was successfully passed this morning and I am feeling lighter. The Girl Scout cookies are in the freezer where I will leave them. The open box is going into the compost with dish soap so I don't ingest anymore of them. 

  There was a Firewalk last night in Spirit Hollow. I didn't go because I didn't think I could manage the walking.  I want to make it to the next one.  I like what a Firewalk has to offer me, the chance to transform my energy, to help me through to another level. Ceredwyn and I have talked about having a fire walk in Ripton. Maybe it's time to get that going. 

  Blessings abound

   

  • 11:56 am
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