September 23, 2012

• Have to get worse before one gets better

  I've had another antibiotic increase. I was handling it fairly ok, but over the last few days, it's been giving brain fog and depression and I have to remind myself that it's the bugs dying off that is making me feel worse. 

    I think I'm doing ok at work. Making it through the fog, concentrating. I've been dealing with two passive aggressive individuals that I must interact with. Most recently, one of them took it upon herself to take a fax, addressed to me, to another co-worker and when it confirmed what she assumed, decided to send it back to the faxing party with a message that was highly inaccurate. With my name crossed out to boot. I confronted her because it made me angry.  Since then, I have been edgy and easy to cry. I kept it together at the office, even though I wanted to fashion her a new anal orifice. Last night, I couldn't find Erik in the house, and it is a pretty small house. I ended up crying in his arms because in a very small amount of time- we're talking seconds, half a minute,, tops- I was sure he was dead. Instead, I found him sitting in the dark, on the porch, smoking his pipe and listening to the falling rain. 

  I'm not interested in eating, which is a new thing. And if I am not vigilant, I get too hungry without seeming to sense it, and I end up crying.  I cooked a batch of home-made sausage and I'm making myself eat two patties to bring my blood sugar up and maintain a semblance of balance.

  In the meantime, I have supportive friends and family.. 

  Blessings abound

  • 2:24 pm
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