....today. It's raining and the driveway is a sheet of ice. As is the road and the neighbor's driveway. I am not able to safely navigate either, since I am, a) hurting and b)waiting for the percocet to kick in. Erik is up the road, helping Time slaughter the last of three hogs. The other two were done yesterday. It takes them about two hours or so to butcher one hog. I will spare you the details.  Erik dispatches the animal and then he and Tim do the rest together. Later, Julie takes the buckets of offal deep into the woods for the coy dogs to eat.   For Erik's assistance we will receive some of the meat. The rest goes to the family that raises them and some of their family members who help pay for the raising of the hogs. 

I was sitting in front of the cast iron wood stove earlier, reading the Boston Globe and drinking coffee when I did the kind thing and let Maddie cat in the front door. This cat weighs probably eight pounds, soaking wet. And because of the rain today that's exactly what she was, soaking wet.   And this little cat, who looks like a miniature lioness, managed to push me off the couch so she could have her favorite corner of the couch.  Not even the dog is there to share the couch. LoraBoraLabraDora is in the recliner in the computer room with me. The cat is curled like a colon, blissing her way through dreams. 

Not having to work and being able to take percocet is making the pain of spinal stenosis less pronounced, but I am just bored enough that I miss work.  I've been reading: Eat, Pray, Love. Little Heathens. Next up is a book about nurses captured in the Philipines during World War II. Forgive me, but I can't remember the name right now. It's delicious to read, but I want to move more than my body will allow right now. The thought of going for a walk in the rain is particularly appealing. I wouldn't even mind helping to cut up a hog right now. There's a camaraderie in helping to butcher one's food. If you work together, the work goes faster and everyone wins. I can't kill anything, though. Just can't do it. I've tried to dispatch chickens with an axe and a log, but I can't do it. Somebody else has to do the killing for me. But I can pluck and gut and cut the carcass into cuts of meat ready for cooking.  Ok, maybe not so much with hogs, but I'm damn good at chickens. Our neighbors to the east raise chickens and we help with the butchering with them. To the west, hogs. We buy grass fed beef from a farmer in Pawlet. No help with the slaughtering there, but the beef is far superior to that which one finds in the market. 

I have knitting to do. A sweater to finish for myself and one for Erik. Heels to repair on Dylan's beloved socks that I knit him a few years ago. I think those will keep me occupied for the time being. I can always bundle up and stand on the back deck for a whiff of fresh air. And then there's Grape Fruit League baseball with the Red Sox playing the Mets today, I believe. 

Blessings abound

It would seem that i have a touch more spinal stenosis going on. It's above the area of my previous surgery. And it hurts like stink in my buttocks. And other parts of me. And I have a lessening of function in my left leg related to nerve entrapment. Yesterday I told my doctor in the morning that I was in so much pain I could not concentrate on doing my job. So I am now out on disability. I can't take any of the non-steroidal anti-inflammatories (NSAIDS) because they can cause an increase in bleeding, and one doesn't really want that happening when someone is mucking around in the spine and in the spaces around the spinal cord. The good news is that today the physiatrist's office called and I have an appointment for Monday afternoon. I shall welcome this medication into my body as the offering of a lover endowed with super human healing powers. Pain will be banished and function restored. The needle will glide in easily, the steroidal fluid bathing my spinal cord and nerves with soothing medicine to decrease swelling and make the area in my spinal column as capacious and spacious as it can be. No nerve hang ups, all will glide with ease.  In the meantime, I am doing my PT exercises, taking the medicine and trying not to be annoyed that I can't do what I want to do when I want to do it. I am fortunate in that my doctor is a co-worker at the medical clinic where I work, and that I have health and disability insurances.  I also am the proud owner of a TENS unit that feeds distracting electrical currents into the tissues and makes the pain cycle break and be less intrusive.

 So for the time being, I am envisioning this all working in the best ways possible.  I am getting better sleep, now that pain control is improved.  I am feeding my body nourishing and restorative food. Today I had lunch with my friend, Pauline. She made wonderful chicken breasts with peppers, mushrooms and a spicy chicken sausage. It made the most delicious broth. It was accompanied by a tarragon vinaigrette, lemony tasting on some of the freshest winter greens I've seen this year. She beat me soundly twice at cribbage.  I'd love to say she beat me because I was distracted by the discomfort, but what would I claim as my excuse for losing all the other times she's won?  I win my fair share of cribbage games with Pauline, but today was not my day.

The sun was out today. The brightness and light was deceptive:I thought it must be warmer with all that light and color and bright, bright light. I was wrong. It was ten degrees farenheit at 11:30.  I made sure to dress in layers and drive carefully across town to Pauline's home. 

Keep your fingers crossed for Monday. Prayers for wellness and the successful healing of my body gratefully accepted. 
Blessings abound. 

  When I was seven, my mother had a nervous breakdown and had to be institutionalized for a bit. I think it was about a month. My father was in the Air Force and we lived in Hawaii. Fortunately, at the time, we were living in base housing. Two of the neighborhood wives and someone's teenage daughter took care of Sandy and me while my father either worked or visited my mother evenings at Tripler Army Hospital. 

Alma lived two doors to the right of us in the last unit on the end. She was a big black woman with a kind heart.  Most of the days after school we would go to her home and she would take care of us. My mother says she was fascinated by my sister's blond hair. I don't remember that.

I do remember that she was soft spoken.  Her hands were gentle and her lap kind and ample. I remember feeling safely calm with her. I remember wanting to look like her. She caught me one time, with my fingers in my nostrils.  I was trying to make them bigger, like hers. She remarked that I didn't want to do that, that I wouldn't want a nose like hers. I thought she was so beautiful and kind.  She made me feel safe and secure. I wanted to be like her. 

Every February second, I think of Alma and send some loving thoughts her way. She was so modest, I don't think she ever realized how special she was to me. I remember her moving away because they were transferred as all military personnel must be. But I still remember Alma.

Happy Birthday, Alma.  

Blessings abound

Boy Wonder tells me his father made it through surgery fine and is resting. This is good and I am grateful. Blessings abound

My sons' father is having open heart surgery tomorrow. It will be the second time for him in the thirty some odd years that we have known each other.  I called him tonight to wish him luck. We chatted about that time before we had children when it felt as if our world was threatened.  I think we both came out of that occasion changed. Tonight I wanted him to know that I wished him well and would keep him in thoughts and prayers tomorrow.

He seems pretty pragmatic about it. He asked me questions about his recovery from that first open heart and we both filled in the blanks in our collective memory. I think he is strong and will come through this okay. Even though we have had our rocky spots, I think it is safe to say that we both care about each other in the way that friends can. Keep Gardner in your prayers for a smooth surgery and seamless recovery. Thanks. Blessings abound

  Husband is 100% cured of his yuck. This morning, as he made breakfast for me, he said," I found out where a mouse has been!"  In his hands he held a new roll of paper towels that had been ravaged by The Mouse. I say The Mouse, because about two weeks ago The Cat was sitting on the back of the green wing-backed recliner. She was staring at the wall and twitching her tail. Signs that she is watching Something. I looked at the same spot on the wall and in a few moments was rewarded with the sight of The Mouse climbing out of the bill basket and scrabbling up the wall to a crack in the wall that goes above the ceiling. I immediately alerted The Chief and asked that he set up a mouse trap. He went to bed, instead. 

   The next night I came home from work. As we shared the events of our day, my husband announced that he had put a mouse trap in "The Mouse's travel lane." 
   "Did you bait it?" I asked.
   "No, I just put it there so the mouse would get used to it. I'll bait it later."
   Later never came.

So today he pulled the mouse gnawed paper towels out and put them on the the wooden dowel that holds them in an upright position. I made him get rid of the mouse eaten ends.  He needed a lesson in microbiology and Why It Is Not a Good Idea to dry one's hands on mouse eaten anything. He compromised by sawing the roll of paper towels so that the mousey end cold be used for kindling. He still hasn't baited the trap.

   I know I could bait the trap and set it out, but yew! Not a fan of things that cause death. Besides, he does a much better job at it then I do. I think it's because he's practicing mouse psychology. Meanwhile, I fear The Mouse is taking shredded paper toweling to make a warm and cozy nest for More Mice. Hopefully, Husband will bait the trap and the surplus population of meese will diminish.
Blessings abound 

The Chief and I both have upper respiratory yuck.  We've spent a quiet day reading or sleeping, or keeping LoraBoraLabradora from cruising the counters. I have a big pot of "Wake The Dead' simmering on the stove: a head of garlic, onions, fresh dillweed and bok choi simmering in chicken stock. The bok choi is an addition that isn't part of the basic recipe, but I think the nourishment of the greens right now is what we need.

I've been having problems with my back again. I had an MRI the other night and am waiting for the doc to call me with the results.  I'm hoping that the next step is some PT.  We'll take it as it comes.

 Time to ingest Wake the Dead and drive this demon yuck from my corporeal being.
Blessings Abound 

  The Chief is off to a wake tonight. It's for the son of one of our neighbors. They were in Florida when he was hit be a car on a very busy roadway. It was deemed his fault for using the road illegally as a pedestrian. He was in critical condition for a long time. I didn't go to the wake tonight even though I have a clear calendar. These neighbors have now lost two sons. I've been in awe of her ability to deal with the death of her son. Now there are two to mourn. I don't know how she does it. But I do know this: I am too much of a coward to see her and her family's fresh pain. I am afraid it will rub off on me. I am ashamed of my fear. I just can't do it. 

I'm so excited. It's snowing and I got out of work early. And it's snowing! and my son and his girlfriend are on their way from New York City on the train and I am finally going to meet the amazing Shana! My younger son is not in the habit of describing the women with whom he interacts as Girlfriend or use the L word: love. But this woman is different. He has definitely waxed romantically about her. Uses the G and L words. I am really happy for him. I can't wait to meet her. They'll be staying here through Friday morning when I take them back to the train in Rutland. I want to make a good impression and I want to make her feel welcome. 

Bonus points: I have Thursday off to spend time with them.

It's snowing and my husband is such an idiot. He was outside snowblowing the over one foot of accumulation in the driveway. And once again he wore the thinnest, rattiest gloves he owns. And stayed out too long. Again. He says he's learned his lesson and will be getting heavy duty mittens. He's out there again, shoveling this time, and he's got the ratty gloves on again. It's like working with the learning disabled some days with him.

Blessings abound 

I decided on a way to use the "tater tots" for dinner last night. I decided to finish off the chicken from a roaster and combine it with some frozen broccoli. I minced shallots and garlic and sprinkled them over the 9"x13" long pan in which I was layering the ingredients. Over those went a layer of mushroom soup mixed with half a pint of sour cream. I grated some Cabot cheddar on top.  Then it was time to place the Tots. 

Just tossing them on top didn't feel like the correct way to approach the problem. After all, I wanted this casserole to cook evenly and have the tots brown and crispy where they weren't touching the casserole below. So I took the tots out of the freezer. I was surprised to see that the two pound bag I thought I had was not there. In it's place was a five pound bag of tots. I hauled it out of the freezer, sat at the counter on a stool and started placing the tots on top of all that potentially yummy goodness. At first I tried to place them across the width of the dish. I could get three rows across, tot to tot.  When it came to getting the fourth row across, the tots were too long. Forcing them in made the tots in the center buckle. I certainly did not like the looks of that, so I took off the tots and started over. The bag of tots on my lap was getting chillier. 

Next, I line the tots lengthwise along the pan. This worked very well for three rows. Nothing buckled. Little chunks of frozen broccoli were easily pressed into place so the surface of tots was nice and even. Then came row four. At first I tried to stand the tots on end. But that left gaps between the third row of tots and the ends. I couldn't have that. The sauce would bubble up between the tots and make the surface mushy. Then I tried once again to force the tots into compliance. Again the surface buckled. Finally, I placed the last row of tots perpendicular to the remaining regimented rows. At last, the top was completed!. All this fussing with tots had made the five pound bag on my lap turned patches of my thighs into little frost bitten patches. I put the remaining bag into the freezer. I popped the casserole into the oven. One hour later, I had a delicious dinner for us with lovely rows of brown potato product crisply lined in rows. Very tasty. 

Blessings abound