February 7, 2012

• Almost One Year

     I haven't posted here in almost one year. Since my last post of March 11, 2011 I have endured Physical Therapy, worked part-time, had surgery to correct the problem with my spine and am trudging through recovery and rehabilitation. I had a very good hospital experience at Dartmouth-Hitchcock.  The four year old hardware was removed from my back and new hardware placed to reach up to where a disc had slipped into the canal of my spinal cord. Thank God I had invested in disability insurance. It replaced 60% of my income. I'm only working three days a week these days.  I feel beat up and achy after a day answering phones and giving advice, doing insurance paperwork and trying to keep up with the work that others seem unable to do when I am not at the office. 

     My surgery was in early August.  I was able to  spend time on the back deck over-looking our green yard. Sun warmed me, thawed my frozen muscles.  There were three days of no power here and husband being gone as Fire Chief to deal with the disaster that was Tropical Storm Irene. We were not hit as badly as the state to the south of us.  Still, it was interesting to be in a weakened state with no phone, television or radio. I read, but I had no real idea of what was going on in the area outside of our small home. Periodically, Erik would send one of the First Responders or Fire volunteers to check on me at home.  They would inquire to see if I needed help, render assistance and then be gone to the more pressing business at hand.

     Through out this process, I have had glimpses of what being pain free can mean for me. The severe pain is gone. I still have to walk with a cane on dry land. There are some muscular concerns that bring a pain mimicking the worst of the spinal stenosis pain.  Some days, though, I reside in a body feeling the quiet of a body no longer screaming with pain. Those are days when everything looks better, sounds are crisper and life is just better!  However, there are other days where the pain of fibromyalgia is lurking in my fibers, making me ache, my joints tender, my muscles stiff as if I had worked really hard at something the day before. 

     I've had the diagnosis of fibromyalgia for about twenty years. Mostly it's been managed with anti-depressants.  Exercise helps.  Right now I'm in the middle of a flare and there is no respite from this low-grade, mid--range gnawing ache. Through discussions with friends, I have come to agree that fibromyalgia is a syndrome of symptoms that no one has gotten to the bottom of.  To that end, I have made an appointment with a physiatrist in Hanover who specializes in patients with chronic fatique and fibromyalgia.  He comes highly recommended.  I have seen the progress a friend has made as he treats her symptoms of chronic Lyme disease and systemic yeast overgrowth. I am suspicious that I have the latter.  I've had numerous courses of IV antibiotics accompanying the surgeries I have had. And I crave sugar. I can get away for it a little while and then BAM!! back come the demands of cravings.  I've gained back ten pounds of the thirty that I had lost when I gave up sugar after the firewalk.  I am interested in discovering if there is a diagnosis that explains my Fibromyalgia, something that can be treated and make it go away.  I am no longer able or interested in bulling through whatever this is that causes my pain. I want more of those days where I feel pain free. I am a much nicer person when I am not having pain. Just ask me!

  My appointment with the good doctor is on February 24. I am hoping that there are answers. I am willing to do the work needed to help cure this and help me feel better. I think I will continue my exercising and trying to increase my time at work while I seek help for this syndrome of pain and sleep disturbance.

  Blessings abound.

  • 10:00 am
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